Is it too basic to say Rachel does Dallas? It is.
But Rachel really is doing Dallas with her three guys in tow (since Rachel’s sister is eight months pregnant and cannot fly), and Lord knows she could use the backup because the Lindsay family is a tough cookie to crack.
Lindsay Family Grade: A-
We start with Peter, who has admittedly been a little reserved as this journey ends. But before they go into her house with baby presents and flowers, Peter sits Rachel down and drops the bomb that he is indeed falling in love with her, and Rachel returns it. Not quite actually being in love, but we’ll take it.
Almost all the family is there, except her dad, who is literally a surprise man no one has ever seen. When the family breaks apart from the dinner table, Rachel’s mom dives in and asks the real questions — does Rachel even know what she’s doing?
But it’s fair! This series relies on its participants and viewers to think getting married after two months is okay, and for once, Peter and the Lindsays are questioning that notion. Peter even tells Rachel’s mom that he’s not comfortable asking for Rachel’s hand in marriage because it’s not time, and Rachel’s mom agrees. Is it romantic? No, but guys— it’s a rare moment of Bachelor(ette) logic.
Lindsay Family Grade: B
Rachel opens Eric’s date by taking him on a sweeping tour of Dallas. You can tell he has a hard time enjoying himself though because he’s terrified. It’s been seven years since he’s met a significant other’s family, and it’s showing.
But when Eric makes it into the house and discusses what his family life was like growing up, he seems to relax a bit. But when Rachel’s sister, Queen Constance, ruler of all good collar jewelry takes note, she just doesn’t seem as interested in him as she did Peter. And as the questioning continues, it’s clear that there’s something missing between Eric and Rachel. Nevertheless, Eric asks Kathy Lindsay — Rachel's mother — for Rachel’s hand in marriage, and she... kind of says yes? It’s not a super thrilled yes, but it’s not a no.
Lindsay Family Grade: C-
Rachel takes Bryan to meet her friends over mimosas, and they absolutely love him because of his confidence. Rachel reveals that she thought he was a lowlife but that she was wrong — which is up for debate.
When Bryan meets Rachel’s family, he goes all in and lets them know he truly loves Rachel, but it’s not enough for the Lindsay family. They take Bryan to task, and it sets Rachel off pretty hard.
When Rachel pushes back against her family, they hold her accountable and her mom even says she doesn’t believe love can happen as quickly as Rachel is claiming it can. At the end of the day, it doesn’t seem that anyone was fully convinced, but the Lindsays hold strong to their resistance, Rachel holds onto hers, and Bryan performs a perfect balancing act.
So that takes us to La Rioja, Spain — the capital of love and fantasy dates, with medieval flair! We start with Eric this time. The duo flies around Spain in a helicopter and recap their Dallas-date. In the end, Eric wishes (on a super cool bell) that he could get the strength to tell Rachel he loves her. And as the night ends, he finally gets there telling Rachel how he truly feels. In turn, Rachel offers Eric the fantasy suite, and he takes it.
Peter joins her next, and guys, this is a DREAM DATE. This duo of gapped-teeth perfection go to a wine cellar, and then an incredible Spanish man gives them their own wine cellar. Then they take some “Raquel y Pedro” wine and discuss how the Dallas-date went, but they’re interrupted by an adorably creepy little girl who offers Rachel a flower before heading to stomp grapes Lucy-style.
But on the night-date, the discussion about Peter’s proposal-anxiety finally comes to fruition. Peter sees engagement as an extension of marriage, and Rachel doesn’t see it so concretely. It puts quite the wedge between them. Rachel cries, and when Rachel cries, we all cry — especially when Rachel says that this kind of revelation could be a deal breaker.
You can watch the Men Tell All on WZZM 13 at 8 p.m. Monday, July 31.
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