Changing the rules in the middle of the game
With everything we do in life, we create what I call "systems" to help guide us in how we approach and interact with people and situations. For example, how we teach our children, how we interact with our spouse, our co-workers, friends, and even our pets. For many people, these systems aren't working out and were created out of a lack of self worth, low self esteem, low confidence, or just not being aware of a better system. A lot of people don't realize that changing this system is an option, because they have allowed current behaviors to go on for an extended period of time. I'm here today to share that it is an option, and you can change the rules in the middle of the game.
1. Be honest with yourself.
Evaluate your systems and see if they are working for you,are they working out for the people in your life. If we want a better life, we have to be honest about where we are. We can't get to where we want to be, if we don't take an honest look at where we are.
2. Discuss the changes you need.
This can be a very scary and intimidating process for many people. Especially if they've allowed the behavior for an extended period of time. If someone truly cares about you, and they are invested in your life, they wil be open to hearing how you feel. It's incredibly important to be open, loving, honest, raw and authentic in sharing your feelings. Help the person understand that the way you have been operating isn't working, and that you have allowed it to go on for too long. Let them know that you aren't being true to who you are. Help the person understand what you need and that you deserve these changes.
3. Teach and train.
Sadly, many people don't believe that people can change. That simply isn't true. You can teach an old dog new tricks. You just have to help them understand your feelings, and teach them what you need them to do. The most important tool for you to use, is consistency, and owning that you deserve these changes. You have to FEEL that you deserve it. It is emphatically important that we all know that we train and teach people how to treat us every day. Make yourself aware of how people are treating you. If you arent being treated the way deserve to be, it's never too late to change the rules.
We all do the best we can with what we know. As we grow older, we grow wiser. As we grow wiser, we need to evaluate the systems we have created, and make some corrections.
Courtesy: James Garnant