Bored, frustrated or feeling at the end of your "rope"? Your Relationship Crisis just might be a powerful catalyst for growth. Here are some tips for dealing with such a situation:
A.) Don't Panic! Try to be curious, not furious. Anger shuts people and conversations down. There is also some research that reveals the way a conversation is started is the way it will end so it is extremely important that we approach people in a polite manner no matter our feelings of hurt or outrage.
B.) Don't bury it. When we ignore things, we only create a burial ground to be later uncovered. Its much easier to discuss problems before they are chronic - and remember: IF ONE PERSON THINKS THERE IS A PROBLEM, THERE IS A PROBLEM! So listen up, and listen like you would to a friend.
C.) There is a new book out by Anne Lamott called "Help, Thanks, Wow: The three essential prayers." Lamott writes about turning to God with this formula for prayer, but I think Couples would do well to practice this formula daily together:
1.) What is one area you recognize you UNDERperform at, need to be more mindful of, etc.? What do YOU (not the other person - that's much easier isn't it? To point out the other person's wrongdoings) need "help" with?
2.) What is one thing you are Thankful for in the relationship or in relation to your loved one? Think specific , recent acts.
3.) What Amazes you about your significant other? Think Global characteristics, accomplishments, sensual experiences, physical traits. Look at him/her like you did with dating eyes.
If you are "stuck" in your relationship, don't hesitate to ask for help from a mentor couple, your church staff, or a trained professional. How Counseling Can Help:
? With a good match, you will be able to identify what events and relationships from your life history might have contributed to your dysfunctional beliefs and behavior.
? Once you figure that out, you can develop a plan and vision for your life so that you are not kept "stuck."
? With each session you will gain new insight into how you respond to situations you will have the opportunity to make new, conscious choices and will feel a greater sense of dignity, empowerment, and control over your life. You will learn new effective behavioral strategies that promote closeness and bonding rather than create distance and distress.
Please email firstname.lastname@example.org or call Remi at Great Lakes Counseling Services at 616-617-1188 to establish an appointment with a trained specialist in Couples Counseling.