GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. — As Valentine’s Day approaches and couples are focusing on celebrating their romantic relationships, we asked Dr. Greg Mallis from Pine Rest Christian Mental Health Services if he would stop by and share some tips on one of the key aspects of a healthy relationship: good communication, especially when conflict arises.
Dr. Mallis said communication is often one of the trouble areas he addresses when working with couples. He said every relationship has disagreements and it’s important to establish fair fighting rules. Doing so creates a safe and predictable way to work through conflict and helps couples proactively express their needs, manage strong emotions, and work collaboratively with the other person to problem solve and find solutions.
Dr. Mallis identified some skills that couples should work on:
- Ask yourself what is leading to your emotion.
- Focus on one issue at a time.
- Use “I” statements to focus on your experience.
- Work to understand your partner and their experience.
- Pause if emotions become too high.
- Work to find a “win” for both sides.
Find more relationship resources, information about services, or schedule an appointment for couples therapy by calling 866-852-4001 or visiting www.pinerest.org.
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