GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. - As part of Parenting Week, we gathered a group of parents to talk about how they raise their children in West Michigan.
13 ON YOUR SIDE's Jennifer Pascua sat down with Monica Valentine, Rachel Lee, Erin Wiseman Parkin, Bo Torres and Matt Haviland for a roundtable talk at Grand Rapids Public Library.
Today's topic: How do you handle co-parenting & parent shaming?
Rachel Lee, a single parent to 7 and 9-year-old boys, had this to say:
For me co-parenting is about what's best for the child and for me, it's taken us time to get there but its what's best for my kids and how do we communicate with each other. My sons' father and I have a great coparenting relationship, because it is a relationship and a friendship.
We also try not to use "your dad" or "your mom" – so it doesn't put an extra word in front of Dad or Mom
Matt Haviland, non-custodial parent to 12-year-old daughter said:
During a drop-off time or pick up time. That's not the time to obviously time to dump your junk on the other parent, as well. Or to vent to them. I heard a great quote one time that said, "Healthy Co-parenting is separating what's personal from what is parental. Let's face it that's not easy sometimes. It's healthy, definitely not easy.
Erin Wiseman Parkin, mother to 2- and 4-year-old boys told Jen:
I've been shamed for not spanking, for not yelling for not being as strict as some of the ways I was raised as a child. It's different as an outsider it may look like lazy parenting, you gotta find what works for you.
Adnoris "Bo" Torres, does not have children. But he is around many as the fatherhood coordinator of the "Padres Fuertes" initiative at Strong Beginnings- Healthy Start..
As a role model –I can come as someone from outside the home and say, " Let me do this, so they can glean off of me". And, if they have questions they can ask me. But it's understanding the humanity. If they've had a 9-10 hour day – and being an outsider instead of an insider –it's different. [They say] you're Tio Bo, you get to leave when you want to."
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