Danielle Stislicki has been to a lot of movies in the last two years.
She hasn't seen them, of course, because she's been missing since Dec. 2, 2016. But she's been to theaters countless times with her sisters, Holly and Jillian, who buy Danielle a ticket every time they go.
It's part of the coping mechanism they've developed since Stislicki, 28, disappeared after leaving work at the Met Life office in Southfield. That coping, like so many other methods the family employs, is both inspiring and heart-wrenching.
Lighting the way for Danielle Stislicki. (Photo: Brad Kadrich)
"It's heartbreaking that they wanted to do that, but it was also a wonderful thing to be able to say, 'She's in my heart, she's with us and she would have enjoyed it,'" said Ann Stislicki, the girls' mother. "But they're also very scared, because it's a crazy world."
It's been that way for two years now for the Stislickis, Fowlerville residents still trying to cope with the loss of their daughter. For a while, a fierce hope that she'd come back alive and well drove them. Police dashed those hopes in July 2017, when they acknowledged their belief that she had been killed.
It's obviously been difficult on the family. While they cling to hope her body will be found, they aren't sure even that will bring total closure.
"I don't know if it will get easier (if they find her and bring her home)," Ann said. "We've come to some peace that she is not alive, so she's not out there suffering. I think coming to that peace of police saying, 'We're looking for remains,' that is something we have all come to peace with. But then it's the next step of bringing her home."
Not talking
The Stislicki family and officials at the Farmington Hills Police Department believe there's only one person who can make that happen and, unfortunately, that person isn't talking.
Floyd Galloway, a Berkley resident who was the last person known to have been seen with Danielle, is in prison now, having pleaded guilty to attempting to sexually assault a runner in Hines Park in Livonia in September 2016.
Galloway has been described as the only person of interest in Stislicki's disappearance. Police have searched his home multiple times and were seen taking a mattress, some floorboards, computers and other evidence from his home.
It was through the Stislicki investigation that Livonia police could identify Galloway's DNA in the attempted rape case, a key component to Galloway's arrest and plea deal.
Galloway has reportedly invoked his Fifth Amendment right against self-incrimination in any discussion of the Stislicki case, a fact that infuriates and frustrates her parents.
"The thing is, I believe there is common sense ... and I believe pleading the Fifth is a cop out," Ann Stislicki said. "I understand the law and I understand there are circumstances when it's best for (suspects) to do so. In our circumstance, it's baloney. Based on evidence, someone shouldn't be entitled to plead the Fifth."
Even with Galloway, their prime suspect, in jail, Farmington Hills police haven't stopped investigating the case. According to Operations Cmdr. Bonnie Unruh, police have executed 78 search warrants in the case.
Representatives from some 20 law enforcement agencies last year conducted a wide search of Hines Park looking for Stislicki's body and Farmington Hills police still get tips in the case, averaging about one every other week.
And through it all, they've maintained a relationship with the family.
"Our detectives keep in touch with the Stislickis," Unruh said. "The family has been great to work with."
Missing out
While police continue to hammer away at the case, friends and family members continue to count the events Danielle continues to miss. She was gone for the second straight Thanksgiving this year and the third straight Christmas without her is approaching.
Danielle Frederick went to Hilbert Junior High and Redford Union High School with Stislicki, part of a close-knit group of eight girls. Unlike many high school friendships, this one became tighter as the girls got older.
When they were on college breaks, they made it a point to get together, whether it be grabbing dinner, a game night or other activity. That's a togetherness that was shattered two years ago.
Since her disappearance, the group has experienced seven weddings, seven babies, nine pregnancies and the loss of two parents — all without Stislicki.
"When Danielle went missing, we helped with the search, hung up fliers, created hashtags, made videos, contacted hotels, churches, movie theaters, celebrities, whatever we could do to get her face and name out there," Frederick said. "The Redford girls are a family and there isn't anything we wouldn't do for each other."
The family continues its efforts to keep Stislicki's name and story out there. Their Facebook page "Find Danielle Stislicki" has more than 54,000 followers. There are wristbands and hashtags — even Farmington Hills police cars have been adorned with #findDani" — in the hopes that someone, somewhere, will see, hear or remember something that will help bring her home.
Painful reminders
But even the things they're doing to help can be painful reminders that she's gone. Chris Paliewicz, her uncle, said the Facebook page has been a blessing — and something of a curse.
Friends and family are waiting for news about Danielle Stislicki, missing since Dec. 2, 2016.
(Photo: File)
"The (Facebook page) sends me notifications all day, every day, reminding me of where we still are," Paliewicz said. "That’s good, I mean people are engaging with the posts and sharing like we told them to, but it’s become the new normal when we never even fathomed that we would still be without her and without closure."
That's how the Stislickis are, too. Brother Matthew and sisters Holly and Jillian are "doing as well as can be expected," their mother said, but there are still periods the family calls "having a sad moment."
"You go through the days ... there are days we laugh and life is normal," Ann said. "Then you're just hit by something. (Jillian) was driving and a song came on that brought back memories to the point where she had to pull over. There are days you just start to cry. You cry at commercials, you cry at stupid stuff, you're overwhelmed when you're trying to work. Grieving is a long, extensive process."
The Stislickis know they're not alone. Many families have loved ones who are missing, some of them for years, far longer than Danielle has been gone. Ann and her husband Rich have become very attached to, and involved with, Missing in Michigan, a support group dedicated to helping such families.
Milk carton memories
Rich remembers sitting at the breakfast table back in the day, when milk came in cardboard cartons that were, for a time, adorned with photos of missing children. He remembers reading them, to little effect, while he ate his morning cereal.
Farmington Police cars bear the #finddani that has become a symbol of the effort to find missing Farmington Hills resident Danielle Stislicki. (Photo: Courtesy City of Farmington Hills)
Decades later, obviously, such a thing would have a completely different meaning.
"It's a real eye-opener when it comes to your front door," he said. "As a young person, I'd eat my cereal and I'd see the missing person on there. I read that stuff while I ate my cereal. It didn't have any impact on me.
"I realize (now) that's how much of the rest of the world is," he added. "All these stories, all these things going on, these short blurbs, it's not very emotional. It's information and then on to the next piece of information. I feel sad I didn't 'get' that sooner. Now I find it important to try and share that these are real things. This isn't TV, it's not a movie ... these are real things."
In a way, Ann believes, her missing daughter is trying to help her get through this. She said Danielle has come to her in her dreams and found a way to let her know she's OK, that she's not out there suffering somewhere.
Ann said in some of the dreams they're "just doing our regular things" and she'd suddenly realize Danielle was there.
"I would go into 'mom' mode and I'd say, 'Where are you? What happened?' and she would just disappear," Ann said. "The first dream I had, she was standing outside a doorway. I could see her and then she faded out, which, in my heart she was telling me that she was OK, but she was gone."
Ann and Rick Stislicki are still searching for answers in their daughter's disappearance. The "#Find Dani" hashtag is still a prevalent presence in their lives.
(Photo: Brad Kadrich | Hometownlife.com)
Everyone — friends and family — still grieves, each in their own way. Rich said the grieving process is a private and individual one, but it still pains him to see loved ones hurting.
"The hardest part in my eyes is, we all heal at different rates," he said. "I cannot bring the people I care about to my peace. They have to get there on their own and it's sad to see people you care about suffering. There's no physical thing you can do (for them). Spiritually and mentally, you have to get to your own place."
In the two years since Stislicki's disappearance, the family has gotten used to telling her story — "It’s pretty much part of my daily script," Chris Paliewicz said — in an effort to spark someone, anyone, into remembering something they saw or heard or sensed that would bring closure to the case.
It's not something Stislicki would like — "This would make her so uncomfortable, to be in the public eye," her mother said — but it's something she'd understand and put up with.
"It's been tough ... but we go by the mantra of who Danielle was," Ann said. "She wasn't of conflict, she wasn't 'poke the bear.' We try to do with grace what she would want. But she would also be, 'If it took this to happen to make a change, let that be what it takes, mom and dad, to get this resolved.'"
Contact Brad Kadrich at bkadrich@hometownlife.com. Follow him on Twitter: @bkadrich.
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